Waffle

An Update

Once again, apologies for not posting! Though I certainly haven't lacked post material, I've been a bit short on time and energy: even now I'm yawning. Since my last post I have written more essays (all in vain), signed up for too many AP exams (again), discovered that though I still enjoy the subject, I am absolutely terrible at physics (uh-oh), found my second semester classes less interesting than I had hoped (yes, I fall asleep everyday!), become hopelessly addicted to gum, and have found myself in an unexpectedly disappointing position in my college choices. I was accepted at 8/10 schools I applied to and wait-listed at the other 2 - not bad as far as admission goes. The disappointing part is the cost: it is so expensive! At this point the decision is entirely my parents': they know where I want to go and where I can go for free (first choice, last choice). So I'm just waiting...and waiting...and waiting. The uncertainty is killing me. In the past week or so I've been trying to manage the stress of the decision with a busy week at school, studying for AP exams, trying to figure out what to say at graduation, and attempting to still maintain a social life. I have found that the only way that I can keep from going crazy and being a complete jerk to my family is to spend time with other people. Fortunately I have been blessed with some very understanding, caring friends - they are unusually kind in spite of my constant complaining and pessimistic attitude. I don't think I could get along without them. I'll try to post again when I finally find out how this college thing is going to come out, but for now I'm just trying to balance my desire to go to the school of my choice with my desire not to act spoiled. I am so afraid that if I cannot go where I want that I will be miserable, but at the same time I fear spoiling my happiness at my first choice with the guilt of what it costs. I don't know how it will come out, but I pray that I might be able to accept the decision with gratitude and contentment. Knowing myself, though, it will be very difficult.